Two questions:

Why does my account say that?
Why should I not call paypal/visa/bank and notify them I'm persuing a full refund due to fraudulent product discription/details/specifications?

I've tried researching in-game and on the forums, and even tried talking to CS rep (Lena) in a "payment issues" chat from my Panzar account homepage. No help.

Hello GeneralTechnique,

By your description and looking at the screenshot, it looks a lot like you bought crystals (as seen in the screenshot), but haven't yet spent them to activate the premium subscription option. This can happen somewhat easily when you first go to "Buy Premium", as the menu then takes you to purchase crystals to a period of your choice. After buying the crystals however, they are not directly applied to purchase the premium subscription, but are added to your account's balance instead.

So to solve this, after first buying the crystals, you need to click Buy Premium again, and now you can spend the crystals you've paid for to activate the premium subscription. Alternatively, the crystals can be spent on other purchases as well at this point, that however means that the Premium subscription won't be active.

We are aware the system is a bit clunky regarding activating the premium subscription, hopefully we can streamline this in the future. Also, the representative you spoke with earlier would've been from Xsolla, our partner who provides the billing services for us. They cannot directly apply the credits to any products, but can only add them to your account, which may cause some extra confusion.

So, to sum up, you now have 705 crystals on your account (based on the screenshot), to activate the subscription, click "Buy Premium" and choose a period that you have crystals for, and you should have no trouble getting the subscription active. I hope this let's you get playing premium as intended. :)

Thanks for the helpful reply.